My husband left for a “work trip” on Sunday, immediately after church. Yes. That is Mother’s Day. Now, that is all fine and dandy. I was feeling really down this Mother’s Day because I should have had a one month old to celebrate with. Now, I know I am so blessed to have my girls, and if that is all God chooses to bless me with, I am still incredibly blessed. My parents were in town, so Sunday was fine. Monday morning they headed out. I kept the girls and myself busy all day. Cue night time.
Chloe is potty trained, but she likes the little potty chair. Well, I sit her in the potty and run out to the kitchen to put a package of chicken in the fridge so that it didn’t go bad before I got a chance to divide it and freeze it. I walk back into the bathroom 2.5 seconds later (our house is T-I-N-Y) and Addison has decided to splash Chloe’s urine (sorry) allllllllllllllll over the bathroom. I am YELLING about how that is nasty and not a toy. I start cleaning it all up. In that time Addi opened a drawer and yanked my open makeup bag out, spilling the contents all over the floor. Also busting an eye shadow all over the floor. Seriously. I start thinking about how much I miss my mom and dad, and my husband. I start crying hysterically. Chloe gets a really worried look on her face and says, “You tired, Mama? You tired?” “Yeah, baby, I am tired.” “Me blow your nose.” And, she comes over wiping my nose with a tissue. I have got to learn to hold it together in front of my girls, but maybe it is better that I am real in front of them.. Anyway, to make a long story short, Chloe stayed up until MIDNIGHT yacking at the door with her demands. (goldfish, animal crackers, a different movie, more milk, more milk again) AHHHHHH!!!
This morning she wakes up at 7:30. I didn’t fall asleep until sometime after 1 I believe. I am EXHAUSTED and feeling extremely frustrated because she HAD been sleeping in until 8 or 9 this past weekend. Once Addison gets up we load into the van and head for Target and Lowes to run a couple of errands. Chloe and Addi apparently hate each other today. They fought in the shopping carts. Chloe has to sit in the basket because NONE of the two-seater carts have working buckles. She thinks its funny to stand and jump in the basket. She also thinks it is funny to SPIT at me. I don’t think it’s funny that I have to slap her mouth to get her to stop. They refused to eat their lunch… Naptime was short for some reason..
This evening was really magical. Addi and Chloe hit each other SO MUCH that they both still had red marks all over their faces when I put them to bed. Addi would breathe, and Chloe would yell at her, so Addi would pinch her, so Chloe would hit her, so Addi hit back, so Chloe smashed a block, train track, whatever she could find into Addi’s head. Eventually all I could do was stare in amazement.. and long to go hide under the covers in bed. I keep thinking that Scott will be home tomorrow, and I can make it. But, I have two more days of this junk. If tomorrow is like today was, I will be putting the girls in the van, and driving across the world. They can’t hit each other in the van. They can’t even look at each other. Addi is so quiet and content in the van. It is magical. I moved the seat so far forward that Chloe cannot kick the back of the chair in front of her, so her annoying habit has stopped while Daddy is gone.
I have really been working on self-control. I struggle with this. I am not slow to anger as the Bible tells us we need to be. I used to be the exact opposite. I really have become a LOT better, by God’s grace, at controlling my temper. Some people like to remind me of who I WAS. I am not that person any more. And, I think the fact that all three of us are alive after a day like today shows that I have mastered it. Ok, not mastered it, but I never overreacted. I didn’t constantly text my husband about how awful his daughters were behaving and how much I was angry that he was away. I was not perfect by any means. Right now I long to chug a bottle of Nyquil and slip blissfully into a two-day coma.
I am about to start a book called “Unglued: Making Wise Choices in the Midst of Raw Emotions” The cover has a picture of a woman with her head in a purse. I am guessing she is SCREAMING at the top of her lungs into her massive yellow purse. I’d like to borrow her yellow purse today. Today has really been a struggle. If you read this, please pray for me to have patience and know how best to respond to Chloe to get her to LISTEN. She is blatantly disobedient and I have tried everything that I know to do. I read a lot about what I could possibly do with her. I tell her WHY she can’t do something. That works better than just telling her not to do it. I know that today is a result of daddy being gone since Sunday, and she just doesn’t fully know how to vocalize her emotions. There is no excuse for the level of disobedience that she portrayed today though. Addison’s level was completely understandable.
Sorry for ranting. I just really needed to get it off my chest so that when Scott calls I don’t blow up in his ear. Pray that he has a safe trip home on Thursday.
