My home-pastor is a great mentor for Scott and I. His wife is this beautiful lady (inside and out). I have never heard her say a mean word to anyone. She always has a smile on her face, but is also gracious enough to admit if it’s been a rough morning. She even does that with a smile! I have always looked up to them and wanted to “be like” them when it comes to the ministry.
Scott and I spent a week in Illinois with our families. Our home-church is included in that. They are family to us. There is NOTHING like going back. Nothing at all. Pastor called me into his office because he wanted to say hi. He will be going through hip replacement surgery November 10, and that is why he did not come to me. He is in a lot of pain, so pray for him.
Anyway, he calls me in and chats a little about his life, and asks about mine. I share something with him that had hurt my feelings a little, and that has been eating away at my brain since it happened. He told me, “Let it go.” He told me to stop worrying about what other people think. Stop trying to be like “so and so”. “BE YOU” he said. He said to be kind, be Jesus, but be ME. I don’t have to try to please everyone because it is not going to ever happen.
If you know me, then you know that I am a people pleaser. I have said in previous posts that I don’t like to hurt peoples’ feelings, or even feel like I MAY hurt them. I am willing to get trampled by them, and I will just smile and pretend that it’s all ok. I long to be a better wife, mother, leader, etc. There is nothing wrong with that, but I focus to much on being a wife like “so and so” or a mom like “so and so”. The only “so and so” that I need to be like is Christ. He offended with his message. The Bible is always going to offend. I need to stop worrying about what others will think of me if I start to stand up for myself. I always stand up for my beliefs when it comes to the Bible and my faith. But, I am afraid to speak out if something upsets me for fear of upsetting others. Why am I so willing to be upset and hurt? I am tired of feeling defeated and beat down by peoples’ words and actions. They shouldn’t matter. If it is something that DOES matter, then I need to speak up and say something about it.
I love sitting in a chair across from Pastor’s desk. Even as a teenager he would welcome me into his office ready to give me some advice. He always ended his talks with “stay pure.” when I was a teen. Now, he ends them with, “I love you. I hope you know that!” October is Pastor’s appreciation month. I appreciate my “home pastor” so very much for all that he has done for me since I started coming to church in the 6th grade. (I have known him for even longer, but that is another story!)
