This week has been exhausting, and it’s only Wednesday. Yesterday, I had my neurologist’s appointment. I was cleared to drive. FINALLY!!!! After 9 months of no freedom, I finally have it.. sort of. haha!
I asked questions. I have complex partial seizures and something about tonic-clonic blady-blah. So yeah, I have bad seizures that come with a warning sign. I asked him if that means that I have epilepsy. He kind of laughed and said “Well, there is no difference.” I have epilepsy, but I have only had one epileptic seizure because it was caught after that and since it is being treated, I hopefully will never have another one. However, because of the fact that I have only had one, he was able to write that I just have “seizure” on my form to clear me to drive. So, one diagnosis of a disease that is treatable.
I got home and was super jazzed about finally having some answers. It has set in some more today and I am not quite as “It’s cool. I have epilepsy, but it’s not a big deal.” anymore, but mostly feeling that way.
My PCP called me about my thyroid results. I missed the call because I didn’t hear my phone. I listened to a message that said “I just wanted to let you know that we got your test results in, and if you could call me at your earliest convenience to discuss them..” Usually she throws in an “everything is fine”, but not this time. I was kind of freaking out and called her right back. She said that my thyroid is extremely enlarged and she wants to do some antibody blood tests to see if I have Hashimoto’s thyroiditis. It’s an autoimmune disease where my body would basically be attacking my thyroid thinking that it is a foreign object. The condition itself isn’t BAD unless if they can’t control it. It could lead to hypothyroidism, and could result in my thyroid having to be removed. I cried a lot after it sunk in some more.
This is where the “not as it’s cool” about it comes in.. Yes, both diseases are very treatable. People keep saying “Oh, that’s so treatable. No big deal.” TREAT-able. I don’t want to get dramatic about it and act like I am dying. I am not. It could be SO much worse. However, IF I am diagnosed with Hashimoto’s, that is two life-altering diseases that cannot be cured. I am twenty-six years old and already have on incurable disease, and possibly a second.. all diagnosed at once. I can’t be cured, and that feels heavy… really, really heavy. I know that I am blessed. I am SO, SO blessed.
My epilepsy is under control. I AM able to drive, and I know others with epilepsy who cannot drive because their seizures are still out of control.
I have a beautiful family, and amazing friends.
Hashimoto’s is not a guaranteed thing, so I am not putting the cart before the horse on that one. I am just trying to prepare myself for the possibility. I almost hope that it is, because otherwise, why on earth is my thyroid gigantic?! There are no tumors or nodules to be concerned about (Thank you, Lord!!) but why is it huge. I have been noticing that swallowing feels different. Almost like a pill is stuck and won’t go down at times. I have been struggling to swallow my giant pills that I have to take twice a day, but didn’t really think anything of it. I just thought my throat was rebelling because it was tired of them. lol!
So, please, please pray that they can find answers quickly. I don’t want to wait forever for the results. It was two months ago that the first “normal” blood tests were done for my thyroid, so I am ready to have answers.
