Hi, friends.
It feels weird to be back here in this space. I’m sure I’m not the only one who feels this way. When you’ve experienced a great loss, it feels a lot like your world has stopped. You look around at everyone going on with their day and think “DON’T YOU FEEL IT?! Can’t you tell that there’s a huge hole?” But, everyone keeps going. Eventually, your world starts turning again, because your life isn’t over. The greatest way to honor someone is to keep living your life. Grief doesn’t end– your life just morphs and makes space for the grief. It gets more manageable, but it’s there because great love is there.
This week has been another rough one. Harper had to have a tooth extracted on Tuesday morning. I figured she wouldn’t be feeling super great, but children are also super resilient. When we got home, she just sat around taking it easy. At one point, all of the color drained from her face and lips. I thought she was going to pass out, so I laid her down in her bed. After stroking her forehead for a few minutes, she fell asleep for quite a while.
I went to work and Scott said he would text me how she was doing. She ended up getting sick once before I got home. Then, she was sick all night long. She only slept for 5-10 minute stretches before getting sick again. It was miserable for her. At around 5 in the morning, she fell asleep and was able to get a couple of hours of rest.
Apparently, some kids have a really hard time coming off of nitrous oxide. She is one of them, and I am searching for ways to help ease this for the next procedure. She perked up after eating SEVEN (!!) Outshine popsicles. Whatever she wanted to eat, I was letting her. I stocked up on popsicles, yogurt, applesauce, baby food pouches, bananas, and blueberries so that she had healthy soft food options. (Outshine popsicles are made with real fruit instead of sugar water… not the healthiest, but much better than others. #notanad)
Scott took this picture of us, and I really love it. She had just fallen asleep holding my hand and finally looked peaceful. I laid on the floor in her bedroom all night taking care of her. It was exhausting and stressful, be we made it through. Thankfully, she has been feeling much better and is eating more.
Hopefully things will settle down a little more soon. As “settled” as life can be. Eventually, we’ll be packing.. as long as our massive wind storm yesterday didn’t blow the roof off of the farmhouse. We’ll be finishing our school year in the next couple of months.
All of our seeds arrived for our garden, so we will be starting those very soon. Spring is such a fun time. It feels like a lovely fresh start– more-so than the new year. Do you agree?
I know that many friends are in flooded areas, areas that just had tornados, melting snow flooding basements, etc. I hope that you all can have a wonderful weekend wherever you are.
