We live in a social media world. No matter how much you may try to run from it, it is there. I have facebook so that I can share things with my FAMILY. I am friend with people from high school, and people from church, too. Sometimes you only hit “accept” so that World War Three doesn’t break out in your church or family. Please tell me that I am not the only one! But, social media makes it easier for others to offer up insanely critical and hurtful words while hiding behind their computer screen.
Being a mother is hard enough. Especially being a NEW mother. I still consider myself NEW at this. My oldest is only three. I have many more years to go. I had a lot of experience with breastfeeding problems, so I feel that I can give advice WHEN ASKED. I have a lot of experience with sensitive baby/toddler skin, so I feel that I can give advice. I am still working on discipline and homeschooling, so I keep my mouth shut when it comes to those things. I only open my mouth when asked, and when I feel like I may actually have something to contribute. I don’t like to open my mouth unless I have something good to say. “Better to keep your mouth shut and be thought a fool than to open your mouth and prove it.” Yeah, I try to live by that. If you think I am a fool, fine, but at least I have never given you a reason to KNOW that I am one.
Why do so many women feel that they can open their mouth and give their opinion on anything and everything? Why do so many of the older women feel that they can tell you what to do when it comes to your own kids. “I have seen the village, and I don’t want it raising my kids.” I especially don’t understand why women feel that they can give you such “awesome” advice when their own children turned out.. well.. less than what I hope for my kids. I don’t want perfect children. I want children who follow and serve the perfect GOD. If your children are not following Jesus, then I don’t want your advice. Not to mention, I never asked for the advice. I never asked for your help. No, I am not so prideful that I won’t ask for help or advice WHEN I NEED IT. I am not helpless though. I had a woman LITERALLY take my baby out of my arms and tell me that it was “her” job to stop MY babies crying. I was so angry…
I don’t think that I am a terrible mother. My children are happy, healthy, and intelligent little girls. I call my mom frequently for advice or help. I WANT her advice. I want her to help me. Why is it so easy for other women to tear us down as new moms?
“I just don’t see how she can be hungry so often.”
“Why don’t you have shoes on that baby?”
“She has got to be cold.”
“Why do you new mothers carry your babies around in the carseats? I don’t see how you can bond that way.”
1.My babies were breastfed.. the milk that a mama produces is digested faster than the formula that other mother’s put in their bottles because their intestines and mama milk were made for each other… that is why she is hungry so often. (I am NOT intending to tear down any mama who formula feeds their baby. Like I said, YOU are the mama. YOU get to decide. I know that many mothers CAN’T make breastmilk. I get sick of people who say that every woman is capable “HOw do you think they did it in Bible times?!” Wet nurses. The end. Other mothers just decide to do it because it’s easier. Whatever.. I chose to breast feed, you may choose formula.)
2. My baby has WIDE feet, and I REFUSE to spend $40 on wide baby shoes that she will outgrow in a month.
3. I would know if she is cold, or hot. I check. When she is drenched in sweat, she is not cold. Thank you.
4. Both of my sisters have heard this one I believe… Once again, all three of us breast fed/feed our babies.. WE bond with them PLENTY.. and it’s the LAW that they must be in their car seat in the car. When a bear is sleeping, you don’t poke it, am I right?! We carry the car seat into the house or store.. whatever.. Plus, when it’s winter, they stay warmer for everyone who is always concerned about my baby being too cold…
I guess I am little crabby today.. I just am so tired of women tearing each other down. Quit being hateful. Quit judging.. Just STOP. Let the mother be the parent. If the mother is abusing their baby, then speak up. Otherwise, just keep your mouth shut and offer SUPPORT. Support is not unsolicited advice or judgmental comments for the record.. It is being a listening ear, offering to help clean, bringing a healthy meal by, etc.
