Do you ever have those times when you feel like you just CAN’T CATCH A BREAK? We have been in a season of no breaks for so long. Our battery suddenly decided to go bad and die yesterday. My dad was so helpful and got it jump started a few times for me. We really didn’t think the battery was dead because all of the lights and electrical stuff was working.
Scott ended up taking it somewhere when I went to work to find out what was wrong. It turned out to be the battery and we had to get that replaced. More money sunk into the van. I know batteries aren’t expensive in the grand scheme of things, but that ends up being two tanks of gas that we could have bought instead… a week or more of groceries.
I’m so frustrated and overwhelmed. I make to do lists every day and I don’t know where to start because there are so many spinning plates.
I’m waving my white flag. I surrender. When I pray, all I can do is beg God to help. He knows my heart. He is sorting out what I can’t seem to say.
Last night, when Scott and I were reading Marriage After God, we got to a chapter about finances. This couple took time away from their full-time ministry to get out of debt; knowing that there is nothing God-honoring about being a slave to debt. It was actually really comforting and reaffirmed that we are in exactly the right place where God wants us. It doesn’t fully make sense. It doesn’t make sense that we are working really hard and more things keep falling apart causing more problems. I don’t get it, and I’m frustrated. But, I know that God is in control.
I’m sure to others, it may look like we have thrown our hands up and given up on ministry. NOT SO. If God permanently called us away from full-time ministry, we would absolutely obey. However, that is not the case. We have surrendered our lives to His leading.