We have all had friends going through a period of deep grief. We have all felt completely helpless and wondered how we can help. We have been through a lot of grief periods in the past several years, and I want to share the things that helped.
- Bring a Meal– cooking is the last thing on anyone’s mind when they are making funeral arrangements. Everyone is so busy trying to gather pictures, write obituaries, and make plans that food often falls on the back burner. I had a friend bring us a meal after my father-in-law passed away, and it was the biggest blessing. If you live far away, you can even order something to be delivered.
- Listen– just listen! There are so many cliche phrases that people say that end up being so hurtful. Don’t offer suggestions or explanations. Just listen and be present. Even sitting with your friend in their silence is a gift. Pray with them. Pray for them.
- Don’t Forget– When you lose someone so important to you, it is so hard to feel so heartbroken while the rest of the world moves on. The weeks after a funeral are easily the most painful. The chaos has settled down and the quiet brings a lot of memories and pain. Send a quick text or make a quick phone call so that you friend knows they are not forgotten; that their loved one isn’t forgotten. Holidays are especially difficult.
- Say their name– Your friend won’t ever forget their loved one. If you have a story to share, share it. No one wants to be forgotten, and keeping the memory alive is a gift.
Here are some books to help children deal with loss:
The Memory Box
The Invisible String
I Miss You
God Gave Us Heaven
