First, the results of the ultrasound of my breast were that I have dialated ducts. I am not 100% sure what it means, but it is nothing to worry about. That’s all I need to know. Thank you for the prayers!!
Second, Scott and I rented “Mom’s Night Out” from Redbox last night. I LOVED IT!! In the first five minutes, I turned to Scott and said “They made a movie about me!” He grinned.. I think afraid to agree.. and finally, timidly said “I was thinking the same thing..” It is excellent. The more the movie went on, the more I felt like it was made just for me. Then, towards the end of the movie Trace Adkins’ character was talking to the main “mom” character. I was moved to tears.. He said, “You spend so much time beating yourselves up. It must be exhausting.. I doubt the good Lord made a mistake giving your kiddos the Mama He did. So, you just be YOU. He’ll take care of the rest.”
I felt like he was speaking directly to me. I feel so inadequate. I ALWAYS wanted to be a mommy. ALWAYS!!! Now that I am a mommy, there are days where I feel like God must have been confused. I am not made for this. This is so FALSE. God does NOT make mistakes. He gave me these beautiful blessings. No matter how inadequate I AM, HE IS ENOUGH. He will take care of it all.
I am not being paid to write any of this. I honestly can’t even find the words to describe how much I love this movie. I want to buy it and watch it every day to remind myself that I am not enough on my own for my kids. I need to stop trying to do it all. I need to stop being so unhappy. I bring it upon myself. I push myself to hard and put too much pressure on myself. I am not enough, but He is. All I can do is strive to honor Him, and teach my babies about Him. The rest will take care of itself.
