Do you ever pray and feel as though your prayers are bouncing off the sky. Your words just come hurling back at you as soon as they are spoken. Or, so it feels.

We are in this transition period. I feel like we have been shoved into the hallway with closed doors all around us. We keep knocking on them; we turn and tug at the handle. Nothing. Here we stand. We are huddled in the hallway praying and asking God for directions and answers. Our words just echo in the hall.

We try to remain faithful. We are in the hallway. We can serve God in the hallway. It feels messy, confusing, and crowded. But, we can still serve. He put us here in this hallway. He has a plan for it. But, it is so hard to continue waiting for answers.

Maybe this time in the hallway is meant for us to learn. God is always working on us. He is always bending, stretching, and molding us as long as we are willing. Sometimes it hurts. Sometimes it’s freeing. All the time, He has a purpose. Maybe I need to just be quiet and LISTEN to what He is teaching me. I keep trying to open doors and find out what he is teaching me. Often, God speaks in the silence. I need to stop pulling on every door knob and just sit down and listen.

Perhaps as I watch and listen, a door will open just a crack. Maybe we will get a glimpse inside and see that God was protecting us from what was behind it. Maybe a door will open wide and we will be invited in. What is behind that door is going to be beautiful; if for no other reason than it is where God directed us.

However long the doors remain closed, I am going to take the opportunity to listen and learn.

image source

…and I’m so glad your mine.”

I remember that my mom had a mug with that phrase on it. It had flowers painted on it. Over the years a huge piece ended up breaking off and getting glued back on. In fact, I think it is probably still mixed in with her collection of coffee mugs to this day. I never really understood the significance of it. At the time, I was young and couldn’t stand my sisters. (The feeling was pretty mutual..)

Here I am, 27 years old with three little girls of my own. They love talking about being sisters and telling people that “THAT is MY sister!” I am a grown woman, and would give just about anything to be with my sisters. I miss them something fierce. Over the winter, I start going numb to missing family. It’s impossible to travel when the weather is crazy and snowing or icing all of the time. My heart hurts in December. Then, January, February, and March roll through. That pain starts to numb and I feel like I should just give up because I am never going to get to see them again. Once we start to thaw, we make a trip to see family and that pain comes shooting back. As soon as we leave, I am a mess of tears. Living away from family is hard.

I got to spend several days last week with my younger sister. She is due on SUNDAY with her second boy, and her husband works a lot. So, I wanted to keep her company and help her out. I don’t think she realizes how much she helped me. I have been struggling here lately with many things that don’t need to be written on here. She knows this. She knows my heart. Just spending time with her being silly, playing games, and talking like nothing has changed was so good for my soul. Plus, her son is absurdly adorable and loved on Harper the whole time. We cooked and mopped up the flooded laundry room and pet Lyna. We drove through this beautiful neighborhood with amazing homes.

It was super rainy outside every day. But, it was mostly the kind that is really relaxing to listen to. The first night there was a big storm with strobe light lightening. It was NUTS!!! We had ice cream.. mine was dairy free. Ya’ll, they have an ice cream place within walking distance that has gluten and dairy free ice cream for CHEAP! I was in heaven. Her husband was able to get off early and have games canceled due to rain, so I even saw him quite a bit.

Cousins are awesome. Harper may have disagreed until the last day, but “CJ” is going to be an awesome big brother. He was always loving on her and would rub her back if she cried. That happened to be any time he came near her. I don’t get it. I think maybe if he had pushed her over she would have felt like he was ok. That’s what she is used to at our house.

Anyway, I miss my sisters a lot. I miss living close enough to home where a weekend trip was possible.

I had intentions of driving down to where my parents and older sister live so that I could have dinner with them. Amanda would have been invited, too, but traveling at any stage of pregnancy is painful, so I’m not sure that she would have wanted to. *wink* My van started trying to stall when we would drive anywhere. Or, just sitting in the drive thru of sonic waiting for our vanilla coke and atomic lemon slush. Hey, Amanda, ATOMIC lemon was no joke, was it?! ha!

Instead of driving to MTZ on Friday evening, I took my van to the shop on Friday morning and it spent the day there getting worked on. My parents were able to drive up and see us for a couple of hours. And, they bought more dairy free ice cream.

It was such a great time, and I wish I could rewind and go back. I miss her a lot already. I miss my family a lot. My brother-in-law came into town yesterday and left this morning. I think Scott is pretty happy to have been able to get a visit in also.

Oh my goodness! I just googled to see if I could find a picture of the mug. Here it is!!!!!

Tomorrow, I head out to spend a few days with my younger sister. She is almost fully cooked with her second baby boy. I am praying that he comes while I am there!!! You should, too. I know she would love it if he came soon.

I love getting to spend some time with my sisters. Usually, it is loud and chaotic, so we don’t get to talk very much. My husband has graciously offered to keep the older two girls at home with him while I take Harper with me. It is going to feel SO weird to only have on kiddo to care for. It’s like a vacation!!! I am excited to help her out the way that she always helps me. Both times that Scott went away to camp while I was 9 months pregnant, she never hesitated to drop everything and come help. This last time, both of my sisters came and took turns driving me to doctor’s appointments all week. I am forever grateful for them. I am also extremely grateful for Scott. I didn’t want to take all three girls to “help” her, because it just would be bringing utter chaos into her home. No help at all.

Please pray for safe travels for Harper and I. This is the first time that I have traveled alone since being diagnosed with epilepsy. I always get really high anxiety any time we travel, and it feels a thousand times more intense this time. God is in control, and I am trying to rest in that. Trying. My heart pounds any time we start pulling out of the driveway to travel. I don’t relax until about an hour into the trip. It’s crazy.

I am going to miss the “big girls” and Scott so much, but am really excited for some sister time!

I’ll leave you with a picture of our family picture. 🙂

I feel like all of my posts are either about health, or birthdays. We have a stretch of birthday after birthday in our family. May, June, July, August, October… September is when Quinn was “born”.. so we really have every month for 6 months. Not that we celebrate in September.. maybe we should to make it less sad. After all, Quinn is with Jesus. What could be better?!

This post is not supposed to be sad. Moving on.

We are wanting to just get a big gift for Harper this year. We usually do a few smaller gifts, but she is our last baby. We have enough small toys sitting around the house. The debate is trying to decide which one. I have found two that I love, but just can’t decide which to do.

Option 1:

Radio Flyer classic walker wagon

This honestly may be my favorite. It will help her learn to walk. She is not really cruising yet, so it will probably get some serious use. PLus, she will probably love to load it up with toys and push it around for years. It’s adorable, and it even has a setting to “resist walk” where it won’t just roll away from her as she is learning to use it. How neat!! It’s an indoor toy, and probably will get more use than an outside toy here in Michigan. If it’s not snowing or freezing, it’s raining. The only con to this is that it’s an indoor toy, which means more space taken up inside the house. Though, we just moved our big screen TV out of the house and are trying to sell it. Any takers?

Option 2:

Radio Flyer 4-in-1 trike

This thing is awesome. It will literally be used for YEARS to come. You can push them in it like a stroller, help them learn to ride, and eventually transition it into a regular tricycle. It’s so cool!! I worry about the amount of use it will get because of our living situation. We don’t get to play outside a whole lot here. Five years is a very long time to still be here, so the chances of us moving before this is outgrown are pretty high. Maybe we will live somewhere that people aren’t walking through our yard and driveway constantly; somewhere that we FEEL safe.

The struggle is real. I say we go with the cheaper one, and drop heavy hints to grandparents about the other.

No?

I think that both will be loved by her, it’s just a matter of CHOOSING one. I am leaning towards purchasing the walker wagon. She loves pulling up on thing, she loves to put things in a basket and pull them out. Not, that she won’t enjoy being pushed around the neighborhood when we go on family walks, and riding a trike when she is old enough.

I overthink things. Someone save me from myself!

I have been dragging you through this with me so far, so I am going to keep dragging you. I am sure you are kicking and screaming. NO MORE!! I won’t be offended if you stop reading. I wish that I could have stumbled upon someone’s experience taking an 11 month old to an allergist. I wasn’t sure what they would and wouldn’t do since Harper is so little.

Today was the big allergist appointment that we have been waiting for. I had read up on what I thought was going on with her (FPIES, in case you forgot) so I was prepared to ask lots of questions in case I was brushed off. I have found that you need to be prepared, because YOU are the advocate for yourself and your children. I am so thankful for the specialists that God has put in my path. I didn’t even have to drag out my information and research. Not that I think doctors are incompetent, but I know that it is not a super common thing, and some doctors don’t have any real experience with it for that reason.

We started our appointment off with the usual questions. What brought you here? What reactions did she have? Is there anyone in the family with food allergies? (Hey, Amanda!) He said that he would give me some information after doing a skin prick test. I could tell that he already knew it was most likely FPIES. You can visit fpies.org to find out more information about this. It’s gastrointestinal reactions instead of the usual wheezing, hives, etc. that accompany allergic reactions; to give you the gist of it. But, I’m no doctor, so if you suspect it you need to check it out for yourself.

Please forgive my crummy pictures. All I had was my “dumb” phone and a squirmy 11 month old in a doctor’s office. It was the best I could do.

This was just a couple of minutes after the oils were applied.

Here is what she looked like just a couple of minutes before the doctor came in to evaluate. The second from the left is a histamine. It is a control to show what her skin would do with an allergy present. One of the two on the right side is a control of a negative reaction. She ended up only having a mild reaction to something on the bottom right. I was so excited to know that she didn’t have any severe allergies requiring EpiPens that I didn’t think to even ask what it was… I see him again in 3 months, so I can find out then. I am guessing probably an environmental allergen like grass. She has ended up with a rash on her cheek when my husband held her after mowing the lawn.

Anyway, he confirmed what I had suspected thanks to the fantastic people over at scratchorsniff.com and their wonderful guidance. Seriously, such an awesome community to be a part of. Check them out if you deal with allergies, asthma, or eczema. I originally started following them because Addi has eczema that flares up really bad in the winter. I never knew I would be launched into the allergy world. FPIES isn’t technically an allergy, but the community is still supportive and helpful with that.

At our next appointment, he will be doing a blood allergy test to see if she has any other allergies. In 6-12 months we will do a trial where we will feed her something with dairy in the office and she if she reacts to it. He said that she WILL outgrow this; most kids outgrow it within a few years. I am just really, really grateful that there weren’t MORE allergies present. I have been avoiding feeding her the top allergens just to be safe. I feel like a whole new world has been opened up for her.

I keep a food journal just to be safe; especially when giving her a new food. It’s a wild ride, but I am grateful that there is so much information out there for us. It is overwhelming at times, but I am glad to be going through this NOW instead of 10 years ago when nothing was labeled!

Are we in a string of neverending Mondays?!?!?! What is going on?!?! Last week was rotten. This week is rotten. I am beginning to dread getting out of bed every day.

I am beginning to consider this little trick:

kidding.

I don’t know about you, but I really love online shopping. The convenience of it is easy. The sites that offer free shipping are my favorites, and you can often find some really GREAT deals on kids clothing. I buy for the next year at the end of each season when sites are doing free shipping and an extra whatever percent off.

I also really love these online resale shops.

I am new to Twice, but I love it so far. I have been on the hunt for a pair of used kork-ease sandals. I have heard nothing but amazing things about them. I don’t really wear flip flops anymore because I have three little ones to run after. I need a sandal that straps to my foot, and has some support to it. Anyway, I have been logging on to this website EVERY.SINGLE.DAY. for the past month searching for some. Saturday, my dream came true. A pair of LOW HEELED sandals.. in brown.. that can be dressed up or down… for $22. That may sound expensive still, but these sandals run for over $100 retail. You get what you pay for, remember. I am all for a good deal, and I am also all for quality. I would rather have fewer QUALITY pieces that will last me for years than an overwhelming amount of of cheap clothing that will fall apart right away. I have been minimizing my closet significantly lately, and loving it!!

These are my shoes, just picture them in dark brown leather. That gold is pretty awesome though!

Here is my referral link if you want to sign up for an account. It’s free!! PLUS, when you sign up and buy something we each get $10 credit. You can also sell things on this site, but I am not familiar with that yet. Check it out though!!

Another one that I love and have had for years is ThredUp. They also sell used name brand clothing for a cheaper price. This one is super easy to use. You also get $10 when you sign up, and I get $10 when you spend it. YIPPEE!! If you want to sell, it is super easy. You select what type of items you are hoping to sell. They will send you a bag that fits the amount of items that you stated for free. You fill it up, drop it off at FedEx, and once they process it, you get your money. You have a few options for payment, and what they do with the clothing they don’t accept. (Donate, send back for a fee, etc.) Here is my referral link. I currently have a giant bag that I need to send back.

Be careful when online shopping though! You could think, “Oh, this is such a great deal! So is this!!” and end up buried in way more cost than you anticipated. I try to only buy things that we NEED for a good deal. Not buy it for the sake of getting the good deal and bragging rights.

*I am not compensated for sharing this other than the stated $10 if you make a purchase after signing up with my link. I was in no way paid to do this; just genuinely love the companies!*

Harper turns one next month. Cue the flood of tears…. I am SO not ready to no longer have a baby. It honestly tears me up that we will never bring another baby into our home. I hope and pray that we will one day adopt a child, so maybe it will happen in the future. Right now, I am sad.

But, I love birthdays, and I have been looking at ideas for her first birthday party for months now. That’s how I deal with the grief. HAHA! I am thinking of doing a black and white party with lots of other colors thrown in. Decorations like that can easily be reused for future parties and decorations, which I am all about.

Here is some of my inspiration.

This one may be my favorite. Confetti themed party?! How awesome!!!

This is also pretty awesome. I would go nuts for those balloons. I can just imagine the look on my girls’ faces when they saw them. Where in the world do you buy balloons like that though?!

This barbie party is super cute, too. I would not do barbies for a one year old, but the decor is super cute. Chloe is obsessed with barbies, so maybe I can file this one away for her birthday. She has been talking about her birthday since… her last birthday. She has pictures drawn of her party, presents, and cake already. Lord, help me.

FLAMINGO PARTY! Enough said.

Obviously, I am really feeling the black and white. Pinterest is a dark hole of black and white parties. They are all so cute, and I can never pull off something THAT extravagant. I know a first birthday will not be remembered by the baby. We will though. I want to celebrate making it through a year. Her birthday was such a huge deal after such a scary pregnancy. Then, we will have survived a year of food-allergy parenting, and navigating life while being outnumbered by your children. It’s a big deal. So, I will do it up as big as I can, because Harper is so special to us. All of our girls are, and birthdays are just as much a celebration for parents as they are for the kiddos!

Every day this week has felt like Monday.

The end.

I am a type-A person. I like all things planned and organized. I can’t handle clutter and spur of the moment planning, though I am working on it. I have three little ones. Clutter happens. The baby spits up on herself as soon as we are ready to walk out the door.

I plan meals two weeks at a time. Pay day is every 2 weeks, so I do one big shopping trip for most all of our groceries, and then go back when we need milk, bread, etc. I usually use a piece of construction paper and a marker/ruler situation. It drives me nuts because I can’t ever get things perfectly spaced and I run out of room.

I found these awesome weekly menu planning sheets. They are great because I can write down what I need for each meal! Plus, they are FREE to download! WIN-WIN. They also look so clean and sleek. There really is no bad here. Meal planning has become increasingly difficult as of late with all of the foods that I need to avoid for my thyroid health and the food allergies that Harper has. I used to really look forward to planning the meals that we would eat as a family. Now, it just makes me want to rip my hair out! These pretty little sheets have brought some joy back into the meal planning; they are much prettier than my construction paper and Crayola markers.

Day Designer also has a lot of other free printables to download that you should go check out.

AAAAAAAAAAND the company has these beautiful day planners that I love. If anyone wants to purchase this one for me, you can go on ahead!! 😉 Sea blue and obsessive organization.. you can’t go wrong!!

*This is not a paid post by any means, I just really love what I have seen and wanted to pass it along to my friends.*