• Stroller plans

    I have hit a snag in the stroller plans.

    Found one that looks exactly like the initial choice. Reviews are the same.

    HELP!

    ……

    Ok, it’s not that big of a deal. But, I do plan to use it for the next several YEARS, so I want to make the right choice on getting one that will last.

    This is nonsense.. I am just excited that I have the time to save up for one that I really REALLY like, and not just must buy the first one we can afford!!!!!!!!!!! I wish that our old single wasn’t broken because that would obviously be the easiest choice. Oh, well.

    I actually like this Britax one’s look better. It just looks so clean.

    I used to be this person who was super into bright colors and patterns. My tastes have changed SO much. I like having a place for my eye to rest. Minimalism is what it’s called, I guess. I am leaning towards that now. Harper’s bedroom is my happy place. It is so softly colored and it all matches and is clean. It’s perfection… In fact, I have this brown breathable bumper that I used for both older girls. I got brown because it was neutral and I figured that if we had a boy, I could reuse it and not worry about it clashing with “boy colors”. ha! Harper’s legs were getting stuck through the slats of her crib and I refused to put it on because it was going to ruin how calm her room felt. I think that Target loves me (or hates me..) because they had a soft pink one on clearance for $8 this weekend. I left it behind because I didn’t want to spend the money on it, even though those things are usually around $30. Scott sent me back INTO the store to buy it… after I had already checked out and climbed into the van to head home. I am really happy that he did because I can blame him for that purchase. :p

    Rabbit trail..

    Anyway.. the Britax is currently significantly cheaper that the city mini. I think that it will just come down to whichever one is cheaper at purchase time. They look almost identical. I have heard more about the Britax brand, and it has all been good.

    The end of the most pointless blog post in the world. Save me from myself.

  • These are a few of my favorite things..

    That song will be stuck in your head for the rest of the day. You’re welcome.

    I can’t drive. Did you know that? Just in case you haven’t heard, I can’t drive. When I get bored, I pretend I am at the mall and browse the internet while drinking coffee with dairy free creamer. I obnoxiously send links to Scott with “HEY, I’d love this for my birthday.” or something else silly. I thought I would share because I am once again bored and Scott is going to block his own wife on facebook if I keep it up. (Not really, he loves me.)

    I love this tote, which can be found here. It is big and reversible, so it’s like two in one. I love big purses.. I love the color aqua. I have been searching for the perfect brown purse. I have tamed my shopping addiction. I have a beautiful black leather purse that Scott bought for me years ago, and I have a small cross-body bag that fits my wallet and a couple of other necessities. I have been looking for years for an affordable brown purse that will LAST. I don’t want to waste money on purses that just fall apart, especially since I just trade out with what I already own. But, it’s pricey, so I will continue to drool on my keyboard. They used to have a metallic one that was gold on one side and cognac on the other. *swoon*

    You know that I am searching for a single stroller. I sell Jamberry and I am trying to save up what I make for this stroller. I have looked at others, but the features of this one are just awesome. Plus, it’s actually cute to look at as well. I am so bummed, because it was priced over $30 cheaper, but the price went up. I am over half-way to having enough for this bad boy.. or girl. We don’t have boys in this house. *wink* I am just going to get the black one. It will hide stains better and when I go to re-sell it years from now, it MAY be easier to sell. We’ll see. I also plan to get the parent console.. The whole exciting thing about having a stroller is having a place to put your drink. Seriously! When I go places without the stroller and have a drink I feel so lost.

    I also have my eye on these for storing homemade baby food. I love making baby food. Does that make me weird? I used ice cube trays when Chloe was a baby, but was dumb and didn’t think about freezer burn on exposed foodsicles. With Addi, I was just fighting to stay alive, so I didn’t make much for her. I think now that I have two older girls and one baby it will be easier. I have already made avocado and she loves it. We don’t have a lot of extra freezer space, but I think that these will work well to freeze and store the food in. I also want to invest in some reusable pouches. Chloe and Addi love the squeezey applesauce pouches and yogurt pouches, so they will be used for a very long time. Any recommendations on those? The jury is still out on them for me.

    Valentine’s Day is coming up. I love looking at all of the festive little outfits for the kiddos. And, I not-so-secretly wish that they came in my size!! These are some of my favorites as I have e-window shopped.
    Heart beanie
    heart sunglasses
    heart sneakers
    heart tutu
    arrow heart tee
    heart skinnies

    Happy weekend, friends!!

  • 6 months old

    My sweet baby turned 6 months old on Sunday!! Where has the time gone?!?!?!

    I guess that I never took a 5 month picture, but look at the progression of cute!! Brand new through 6 months. I exclusively breastfed her until she turned 6 months old. I wanted to be safe because she already has food allergies. I did what was best for her. In true Ashley style, it seems to have blown up in my face because she did not gain enough weight.. I almost cried at her doctor’s office. I called my sister and she told me that I DID do what was best for her and almost cried because I needed to hear someone say that. (My doctor didn’t criticize me, just said that we need to “fatten her up”. If you could hear his accent and sweet voice.. haha!)

    She weighs 14 pounds 11 ounces and is 25 3/4 inches long. I think 4 of those 14 pounds are in her cheeks. 😀

    She is rolling all over the place and loves to find whatever electrical cords she can and try to put them in her mouth. Yikes! She got up on her knees today and I threatened to push her down. I would never actually push her down, so don’t freak out. I am just not ready for her to be so big. She does what I call the baby sea turtle crawl. She tries to get up to crawl but just flops forward, so she looks like a baby sea turtle crawling to the ocean for the first time. She has two teeth about to pop through on the bottom.

    She loves to laugh at her big sisters and smile at anyone who will speak to her. She sits up with support, but topples over if that support is removed. She wakes up every few hours at night still, so if you see me with pillows under my eyes, that is why. I am thinking that now that she is getting some solid food she will sleep better. In fact, last night she woke up around 11 PM, ate, and went back to sleep until after 8. I won’t count on that happening tonight, but it felt good to get some sleep finally.

    I love this sweet little girl more than words can even say. I love all of my girls and feel really blessed to be their mama, even on days when they are rotten.

  • Single stroller

    I am seriously considering saving up for a single jogging stroller… We have a broken single stroller and a tank of a double stroller. Chloe and Addi want to get down and walk when we go anywhere. I can’t blame them… They are 3 and 4. Addi does a great job of staying with me as long as Chloe is not around. Big sister is a bad influence, and little sister is too easily influenced. Harper will be in a stroller for at least a couple more years. I am tired of lugging the massive double one around and having it take up the entire back of the van. I want a jogger so that when it’s warm I can take one of the girls for a run and the other two can get some daddy time.

    I am already drooling over one on Amazon… THIS ONE

    It has a big basket underneath, which will be necessary for the rest of our lives with three kids.. I am convinced of this. I need to be a kangaroo and have a pouch to store all of our “kid stuff” in it. It also has a MASSIVE sun shade that will actually keep the sun out of whoever’s eyes happen to be underneath. The shade is also UVA resistant, so that is a huge bonus. Our kids have never used the dumb snack trays, so I am not really bothered by the fact that it doesn’t have one. I love this stroller. I have a problem..

    I will be able to drive soon (Lord willing) and Harper will go with me if I go out because I am her main food source. We can walk the mall together..

    What a day that will be, when the steering wheel I see…. when I look upon it’s..face? The one who saves me from this place… When I take it in my hand.. and go-oo to the promised land.. what a day, glorious day that will beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee.

  • Own Your Life

    If you have not heard of Sally Clarkson’s book “Own Your Life”, you must go look it up. Then, you must run and purchase it. I am not writing this because I am getting paid to, I am writing this because I am only to the third chapter and LOVE it. If you read my post yesterday, then you know exactly where my emotions are.. where my heart is.

    Last night, I was really exhausted. I just wanted to go right to sleep, but something kept nagging me to read a chapter in the book. I gave in, and now I know that it was the Holy Spirit letting me know that there was something that was going to speak directly to me.

    Sally was speaking about a time when she felt exactly like I was feeling. Sick of where she lived and what she was doing. She was frustrated by her lack of space and lack of friends. Sally was pregnant and hiding from her children while she silently prayed about her circumstances. I think chapter two was written just for me.

    I felt convicted. I forced myself to write down ten things that I was thankful for yesterday. I struggled through it because while I wrote, my children were refusing to nap or just be still. There was screaming, door kicking, and crying happening all around me and I bitterly was thinking that I didn’t even want to be thankful for ANYTHING. I struggled. I am imperfect. I am still struggling with some of the thoughts that have been swirling in my head for over a year now. I am praying that God reveals his will to me.

    Sally challenged me last night. She will never know what one chapter of her book has done for me. I need to OWN MY LIFE. I am here. I may hate Michigan with every fiber of my being because I hate the bitter cold winters stuck in a house that is so tiny that we trip over each other daily. However, I am here. THIS is where God has placed me. I need to own it. I need to step up and serve Him with my WHOLE heart right where he has planted my feet. I need to stop whining and being unhappy, because I am SO blessed. I tend to want to run away when things get hard. This is exactly what Sally was speaking about. She wanted out of her situation. She said something that penetrated my heart and was such a huge reminder that almost felt cruel, but it was the truth that I needed to hear. “..the very difficulties we want to escape can be overcome only when we face them head-on. Otherwise, they have a way of following us wherever we go. Not only that, but running away from them keeps us from growing stronger and eventually becoming heroes in our own story.”

    This does not mean that I won’t struggle. It’s not like an overnight change will happen, and that’s ok. I am still growing and learning and being formed by the potter’s hands. This is all a beautiful part of my story. Sally said that God used that time in her life, and it has been a huge part of her ministry. I just want to quote her whole entire book in this blog post. But, I really think that every single woman needs Sally’s words. Whether you are a mother, a single woman, a widow, whatever. She will challenge and encourage you!

    I know that Christ is the ultimate hero in my story, but I want to stop playing the victim.

  • Contentment

    “Not that I speak from want, for I have learned to be content in whatever circumstances I am. I know how to get along with humble means, and I also know how to live in prosperity; in any and every circumstance I have learned the secret of being filled and going hungry, both of having abundance and suffering need. I can do all things through Him who strengthens me. ” Philippians 4:11-13

    Why is this so hard to live out. I am trying so hard to be content right where God has planted me… I wake up with that intent. Then, I come upstairs and look out the window and see several inches of snow and massive mounds piled in our yard from the parking lot. I stay inside of this house that feels like it is literally shrinking by the second, and I feel like my head is going to explode. When I do actually go outside, my face freezes off and I get angry. I am so frustrated in my circumstances.

    I have three weeks until I maybe get cleared to drive. Three weeks feels like an eternity. But, then I think, I am not going to drive in ice and snow after NINE months of not driving, so it really doesn’t matter. Having answers will be nice, but I am afraid of what the answers will be.

    I am getting an ultrasound done of my freak thyroid.

    I need to go see a lactation specialist because a month and a half of these problems is not ok.

    There are so many things swirling around in my mind that I can’t say, but I just don’t even know how much more I can take.

    I want a vacation. I want to get away from this place for a REAL vacation. Not one where we are torn between family and spending more time in the car driving back and forth. A break for us. One where we can just be a family. The five of us. Doesn’t that sound amazing? I know it is stressful to travel with children, especially three so young. But, to have no schedule.. just go walk on the beach and feel the warm sunshine.

    Why is contentment so hard to find? Why can’t I stop this feeling? I am trying to not be angry at my circumstances, because I know how much worse they could be. It’s hard.

    Here are some things that I AM grateful for.

    1. I have a roof over my head. It may be small, but it keeps the snow and most of the cold away.

    2. I have three beautiful daughters who are silly and entertaining.

    3. I have an amazing husband who works hard to serve the Lord and others.

    4. I have a coffee maker. Seriously.

    5. I am loving my Jamberry business and team.

    6. I have a loving and supportive family.

    7. Technology allows me to keep in touch with my best friends even though they live far away and even on different continents.

    8. I have clothing to help keep me warm.

    9. My baby is cooing and making it difficult to concentrate, but she sounds oh, so cute!

    10. I have God’s word available at my fingertips. I am able to READ it and UNDERSTAND it. I am so thankful for the gospel.

  • Happy New Year!!!

    I am so relieved to be starting a new year. Last year was rotten. It was tough and trying and exhausting.. but I have a beautiful baby born in the midst of all of the trials. I would never wish that it never happened. I know that God has strengthened me a lot through it all. I am still being rebuilt from being broken down. I know that I will come out of it all stronger than before.

    It’s time for New Year’s Resolutions. I didn’t really make any resolutions, but I did set attainable goals for myself. I set goals that I want to have reached by the end of the year and then broke them down into smaller monthly and weekly goals.

    1. Health- I want and need to lose 25 pounds. People tell me all of the time that I don’t need to.. blah blah blah.. I need to. I hide it well. I am ABOVE the healthy weight for my height. Losing 25 pounds puts me right in the middle of the healthy weight for my height. That is just two pounds a month. Completely do-able. I plan to run at least twice a week, and do a strength training workout at home 3 days a week. I also plan to drink at least 36 ounces of water per day. Right now I drink about.. oh, zero. I hate water. But, I am constantly dehydrated and feeling terrible because of it.

    2. Spritual health- I need to spend QUIET time ALONE with God. I try to squeeze it in when no one is bugging me and still end up feeling distracted during it. I need to set aside a certain time where I can truly focus on it and grow. I need alone time with God. My heart aches for it.

    4. Business- I want to hit premier consultant by the end of the year. If I can do this, I will be able to pay off our debt this year, and begin working towards purchasing a new vehicle for our family. I would LOVE to be able to do this, but getting out of debt comes first. I have this broken down as well, but unless you are a Jamberry consultant as well, none of that will matter to you. 😉 ashleypullen.jamberrynails.net if you are interested in shopping or becoming one!!

    5. Personal- I need to spend more time with Scott. We have three little ones and no family nearby. I don’t like leaving my kids with people who aren’t family. I have trust issues. Deal with it. I need to work on spending more time with him. We need it. I need to say yes more. Yes to my kids instead of “wait” or “no”. Life should be fun!!! I need to extend grace to MYSELF. I am my worst and toughest critic. What I say to myself matters. I am fearfully and wonderfully made by our creator. When I wound my own heart, I wound the heart of God.

    What are your goals for 2015??? Just to survive? To live more? To go on a vacation??

    **EDIT TO #4: I actually set my goal to hit TEAM MANAGER by the end of the year! That is one rank higher than premier. Also, if I hit that, I could end up going to MAUI with my husband in 2016!!!!!!!!!! *swoon*

  • It’s a wonderful life.

    Life around here has been so crazy busy!!
    I signed up to be a Jamberry consultant on Nov. 1, so I have been busy building my direct sales business. I am trying really hard to NOT be THAT friend.. I created a separate group for my business so that it’s not clogging everyone’s newsfeeds. Hopefully that worked.

    I had finals for my Faith Bible Institute Class. It was so hard studying.. I could not focus on anything at all to study! I don’t think that I did very well this time.

    I am starting a MOPS group from the ground up at our church and could use A LOT of prayers. I cannot do this in my own strength.

    I had my sleep-deprived EEG, and cannot get the results until February unless if an appointment opens up before then. 🙁 No driving still.

    I am currently on antibiotics for mastitis. Big shock. haha! While at a follow up, I asked the doctor about some pain that I have been having in my neck. She said that she could feel my thyroid “and, I’m not supposed to feel your thyroid” so now I am waiting on blood test results and will be going for an ultrasound of it. I wish my thyroid would just get itself together and stop causing concern. Get over yourself ‘roid.

    My aunt started chemo and radiation treatments. My uncle had a massive stroke that has left him paralyzed on his right side. The kind of stroke that he had is one that most people don’t survive. God is good. Please be in prayer for both of them as they recover. They are both stubborn fighters and I believe that they can both win their battles.

    Harper is growing and still as sweet as can be. We are delaying solid foods until she is 6 months old since she has food allergies. We are starting to cloth diaper her. I figure that it will save a lot of money in the long run. We already do a load of laundry a day, so it won’t make much of a difference.

    Chloe is silly and smart as can be. She is so excited for Christmas and still obsessed with Elsa. She has really come around and tries to help out with Harper as much as possible… she loves to make her smile.

    Addison is also silly and super smart. The words that she uses constantly blow our minds, and she is obsessed with my little pony. “RAINBOW DASH IS THE FASTEST FLYER!!!” She is still Harper’s #1 fan.

    Scott is handsome as can be, and amazing as usual.. just in case you were wondering. 🙂

  • Hurricane

    There is a song by Natalie Grant called “Hurricane”. I listened to this on a practically daily basis throughout the pregnancy with Harper. I have felt like I was in the midst of a hurricane. Things kept spinning out of control. Every time I would think it was almost over, it would start again.

    To be honest, the hurricane is still swirling.

    I was listening to it again last week. I am tired of the hurricane. I am exhausted. I am physically, emotionally, and spiritually exhausted. I stumbled onto a video on youtube where Natalie was describing the inspiration for her album. She wrote many of the songs on her album while dealing with post-partum depression.

    Depression.

    A Christian woman.. a prominent Christian woman dealing with depression.

    Her story sounded so familiar to me.

    I don’t know that I am suffering from post-partum depression. I don’t “not desire” to care for my baby. I want to take her and hide away with her and lock the rest of the world out. I am suffering from depression that is stemming from not being able to have children anymore. That decision was taken from me. I will never again feel those first kicks of a baby squirming inside of my belly. I will never again get to watch my large uncomfortable stomach flop around from a giant baby kicking me. I will never again spend hours with a bulging stomach in a rocking chair praying for my unborn child. It’s gone…. forever.. and it hurts.

    If one more person tells me that I have “enough” I am going to scream.

    Even if I have “enough” it hurts. It was the hardest decision that I have ever been faced with. It is a decision that haunts me because I start to doubt.. but, then I think about it and pray about it the way we did before the decision was made. I still reach the same conclusion. If I had chosen to get pregnant again, the seizure disorder most likely would have been worse (as it has become significantly worse with each pregnancy). Even if it hadn’t become WORSE, it would still be present. I would have to be on anti-seizure medication to prevent a seizure. These medications can cause serious damage in the development of the baby’s brain. So, let’s go the other route. I stay off the medication and just hold on for the ride. A seizure can kill an unborn child.

    I CAUSE permanent brain damage, or I kill my child. Those are my options..

    Then, I get angry. WHY do so many unfit people get to become mothers in an unlimited amount. I am so blessed that I have THREE healthy, beautiful children. I know this. But, it is still so extremely difficult. WHY does this year have to hurt so much. Why can’t we just get some good news..

    I have found that finally putting a voice to my pain has helped. I am not holding it in anymore. Honestly, I am still painting a smile on my face. If you read this, then you know the truth, but I don’t feel that everyone else deserves to know my business.. especially since so many people are only asking questions because they are nosy and want something to gossip about.

    If you DO read this, please continue praying for me. It is not easy for me to admit that I am struggling. But, I AM STRUGGLING. I am struggling a lot. I am physically exhausted from daily life. I am spiritually exhausted because I am clinging to my faith so hard. I am emotionally exhausted because.. well, I have all of these new found health problems, there is still the lingering possibility of surgery to remove a lump from my breast, my aunt has cancer and is about to go through chemo and radiation, my grandparents are in failing health.. my extended family is hurting.. there is just a lot.

    There is still a lot of good, and don’t think that it is lost on me. But, this hurricane has been beating down for 7 months straight. The preparations are wearing down, but I refuse to let them completely break.

    GOD IS STILL GOOD!!

  • Harper’s birth story

    July 17, 2014 is the date that I was set to be induced. I was supposed to call the hospital about an hour out from my induction time to find out if they had room for me or not. Imagine my surprise when I woke up that morning plagued by the stomach virus that had infected my family earlier in the week. I had all of these plans of playing with Chloe and Addison and doing special activities with them all day.. the last day of just “us”. Instead, I laid in bed all day watching movies and trying to sleep as much as I could through the misery. My temperature kept rising and eventually was over 103 degrees. I called the hospital when I was supposed to, and they were super busy. Thank you, Jesus. They told me to call in the morning. I was so relieved.. I drug myself up the stairs to tell my girls goodnight, and thank my mother-in-law for coming up to take care of them. Don’t worry, I kept my distance. She came armed with Lysol anyway. 😉

    I went back downstairs and noticed that I was having contractions. I timed them, and they were consistently 6 minutes apart. I told Scott, but told him that I was going to sleep. I was not going to make the same mistake of staying up all night just to find out if I really was in labor.. I will wake up if it is time.

    The next morning I woke up super early to call the hospital. I was feeling tired, but SO MUCH BETTER since I had a full night of sleep. I was still having contractions 6 minutes apart. We got to the hospital and all checked in. They had all of my information since they had seen me so much over the past 3 months, so check-in was a breeze. They got me in my room and set up with an IV. The nurse was so nice. I HATE getting IVs. Shots don’t hurt. Getting blood drawn doesn’t usually hurt, but IVs HURT. A lot. I told her that I always get dizzy when I get an IV. She cranked the air WAY up and put a cold wash cloth on my head. Ya’ll, if you have the same problem, ask your nurses to do this. It was amazing. I didn’t feel pleasant, but I also didn’t feel like I was going to pass out. The only other time that has happened for me was when I was in the back of an ambulance and really confused.

    They were trying to determine if they were going to start Pitocin, or if they were going to do the hormone that just softens things up. My OB figured that the hormone would be all I needed to get labor really going for me. They hooked me up to the monitors and determined that I was having too many contractions to do that. They started Pitocin. They always start it out really slowly. Slowly was all that I needed. I kept watching the contractions on the monitors, and they were going off the charts. I still felt pretty okay though.

    My OB came in and said that she was going to break my water within the next hour, so if I wanted an epidural that I needed to do it then. I agreed, knowing that labor always flies once my water breaks. The anesthesiologist came in and started getting her stuff ready. Scott has always been able to be in the room during my epidurals. I was at a different hospital this time, and they made him leave. They have actually lost a dad who fainted and hit his head.. My anxiety level went through the roof. My rock wasn’t there anymore. The nurse was so nice though, and so supportive. She kept telling me what a great job that I was doing. This epidural HURT. Oh my gosh. It was loud.. it was painful.. I kept moving because it was hurting so bad. I thought that she was never going to finish. One leg went TOTALLY numb. Then, the rest of my body went numb. I was finally able to relax.

    They left me alone for a while so that I could rest some. The nurse came in saying that she was going to have to slow the Pitocin down because baby wasn’t liking the contractions. A little while later she tells me that she is going to have to just turn it off. They were coming too fast and too strong, and she was not reacting well to them. The doctor came in and broke my water. They noticed that there was meconium mixed in with the amniotic fluid. They were concerned about how numb my leg was, so they turned me a little to my left side to try and distribute the epidural a little more. This backfired because it made my entire body completely numb. I couldn’t move anything below my arms at all.

    I told Scott that I thought I was feeling some pressure, but that surely it was too soon. My labors have always lasted FOREVER. The doctor came in to check to see how far long I was, and she exclaims, “YOU ARE ABOUT TO HAVE A BABY!” I look at Scott and almost feel panicked! They start setting up to deliver. There were so many doctors, nurses, and students in the room. This poor guy that is on his way to being a heart surgeon is witnessing his first childbirth. He is asked by the doctor to hold one of my worthless legs for me. Poor guy.. At the time, nothing is humiliating.. Thinking back everything is!

    My doctor told me that it was time to push. I hear a nurse say “Oh, that baby is going to slide out like buttah.” I started cracking up laughing. I only pushed a few times and Harper was out. I don’t remember hearing her cry, but I am sure she did. A nurse ripped the top of my gown down and all of the sudden this little stinky baby is flopped onto my chest. In case you wonder why she was stinky.. meconium… ’nuff said.. I was so in shock that she was already on my chest that I just kept staring at her. One of the nurses says “Do you like her?!” and I smiled and said yes as my eyes flooded with tears. I think they must have had NICU nurses or something in the room because there was a woman over my shoulder watching Harper. Harper was kind of purple colored. The nurse says “Yep, she is struggling.” I remember thinking “THEN DO SOMETHING?!?!?” She wiped Harper’s face aggressively with a towel and Harper took a huge breath and started screaming. Apparently that did the trick. They said to let them know when I was ready to have her weighed. Never. I don’t want to give her up. I told them that they could go ahead and do it so that I could feed her. They cleaned her up a little bit and got all of her measurements.

    I remember always reading that when left on their own, a baby will make their way to their “food source”. I had always wanted to test that. Since they let Harper lay on my bare chest, I watched as she slowly wiggled her way and latched on all by herself. I was amazed! She ate for a good, long while. I was violently shaking terribly though. The doctor said that my lips were blue and asked if I was feeling cold. I felt fine, but was worried about shaking Harper. They piled warm blankets on top of me, and I kept shaking. They finally wrapped them around my head. A little while later, the shaking stopped.

    At this hospital, they typically don’t give babies a bath for the first 24 hours of life… which after reading about it, is really good!! The nurse asked my permission to wash Harper’s hair since she had so much poo in it. I told her “yes, please!” Eventually I was moved to the recovery room. They never took Harper from my room. She followed immediately with me down the hall to my new room. They did every test in the room with me. It was so awesome to have this beautiful baby by my side every second.

    Since I was having a tubal done, they left my epidural in. They were hoping to be able to re-use it. A little piece of advice. ALWAYS SAY NO!! I didn’t get any sleep that night because it was so painful. Not to mention, they can’t re-use it!! It is rarely successful and after a few hours, it’s impossible.

    Harper was awake most of the night, but I didn’t really mind that. I love their soft, fuzzy, sweet little new baby bodies. I love snuggling them. I love just watching them figure out the world around them. I was not allowed to eat or drink anything after midnight since I was having surgery in the morning. I ate a CLIF bar and drank a big cup of apple juice shortly before midnight. I was glad I did. My surgery kept getting pushed back the next day.

    Scott went home and brought the girls to meet their baby sister, and my mother-in-law joined them. They were so adorable with her. They got bored pretty quickly, so he and his mom took them back home.

    FINALLY some time around 1, they came and got me. I was so anxious. I have never had surgery other than oral surgery. They took Harper to the nursery for the first time since Scott wasn’t there. I told the nurse that he would probably want her when he got back. The nurses offered me something to make me a little sleepy since I was so nervous. I am so grateful that they can do that through the IV they left in me. It wasn’t necessary, but they knew my history and kept me on fluids the whole time I was there. I woke up a little while later with a big ice pack across my stomach. The nurse asked how I was feeling. Ok. Tired. I was in and out for a while. She asked if I wanted anything for pain. I didn’t really have any at the time, so I said no. Then, I realized that was dumb. I didn’t want to wait to feel any pain. She brought me some crackers to eat so that I didn’t take it on an empty stomach. Crackers have never tasted so good!!!!

    Finally, they wheeled me back down the hall and transferred me from the recovery bed back to my hospital bed. Scott and Harper were in the room waiting for me. I love seeing that man holding our babies. 😀 Eventually I had to sit up. I called a nurse and she came in. She told me some tips for sitting up for the first time. She told me that she didn’t want me to think that she was mean, but she wanted me to learn how to do it alone, so I didn’t get any help. That first time of moving HURT.

    I was in quite a bit of pain that first day. The incision itself was pretty small, but it felt like my stomach had been inflated. I had asked to stay an extra night since insurance would cover it, and I could rest much better there than at home with two other little ones. I got to hang out half of the next day at the hospital since it was a Sunday and Scott needed to be at church.

    Finally, we got to bring our beautiful new baby home. It was a long, difficult, and terrifying pregnancy. But, I would do it over and over again if it meant I ended up with Harper. It was 100% worth it!!